Ownership is about more than just responsibility. Ownership is about AGENCY. Ownership is about SELF-LEADERSHIP. Ownership is about CREATING, in place of reacting.

Ownership is about using life, in place of life using you.

The flipside of ownership is victimhood.

And that’s never a comment on the person, AND only ever a comment on their thinking.

And we’ve all experienced those moments – most often during a transition between one chapter and the next – where our thoughts descend into victim. We’re reactive. We’re at effect, not at cause. And unable to shift from “what should be” to “what could be”.

To guard against victim-based thinking, especially if you find yourself in transition, install 2 rules (decisions made in advance) to carry into your day:

RULE #1: Don’t apologise when you succeed.

You think enjoying your success will make it all come crashing down? Or do you think that if you don’t apologise, those around you won’t like you as much? Or are you just unwilling to let yourself be this successful?

Dig into the dark thoughts behind your apologies for success. Put a line through them. And lean into every success. Role model for those around you what a healthy integration of new success looks like!

RULE #2: Don’t complain when you fail.

Complaining is good for the ego: in making the other side (a person, a circumstance, a decision, the weather!) wrong, it makes (egoic) me right. And it releases me of my responsibility.

Trouble is: it’s bad for the soul. Plus … with those complaints, I shift myself into the role of victim. Probably intentionally, according to a non-conscious design.

What’s more (as if we needed anything else, here!): when I’m complaining, I’m not learning.

Learn to love your failures. They’re steppingstones to the next success. Say “That was lucky!” in the face of every “failure”. Grab the valuable learning. And make your ongoing goal to out-fail the competition.

Thanks for reading!

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