Appreciate has two meanings. Recognising the full worth of something or someone. And an increase in the full worth of something (or someone).

Some will be making good use of at least one of these meanings. Others will be making use of both. Very few will be making use of both IN COMBINATION.

What We Appreciate Appreciates

So, if I want to encourage, motivate and inspire in someone a pattern of thought, certain behaviour or ultimate result …

I want to appreciate their thoughts, actions and achievements that contribute to that desired outcome. I want to put positive attention on those aspects that are working well and moving us towards our goal. And I want to acknowledge and celebrate hitting milestones and delivering an outcome.

And support them to create an association of good feelings. Because when it comes to forming habits, more than elapsed time or number of repetitions, the secret ingredient is POSITIVE EMOTION.

In short: catch people doing things right.

Of course, many do this. But for most and most often: it’s sporadic; and surface-level. Not consistent; or deep. And as a percentage of time-spent, positive reinforcement is dwarfed by our tendency to focus on negative aspects and issues.

(Do you dare think what % of your communication is positive reinforcement vs. negative critique?)

Whatever your various roles in your various spheres of life, I invite you to appreciate what you want to see appreciate. Want a more loving relationship? Want to support your child’s development? Want a happier working environment? Want a more performant team? Want a faster project delivery? Want a bigger business result?

Put your goal in mind and ask: “What (and who!) am I NOT overtly appreciating that, if I did, would accelerate our results?”

What we appreciate appreciates.

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