If you're looking for Yet Another Inspiring Ra-Ra Message to "help" you kick-off the new year with big goals, extraordinary ambitions and all the rest of it … you won't find it here.

(And that's fine. Because there are several million of those for you to choose from.)

What you will find is an author who, if he reads one more "New Year, New You" headline, will vomit. He simply will.

Just because it's January: does it have to be an audaciously big hairy goal? (God, I hate that phrase) Does every day have to be the extraordinarily exceptional days that so many in my line of work love to espouse? (All-the-while, conveniently forgetting that exceptional days are … well, exceptional.) Does it have to be a complete overhaul and reinvention? (As if we're not reinventing ourselves every other day of the year, anyway.)

January = faux goals and unhelpful expectations. But it doesn't have to be that.

For those sick of the Ra-Ra rallying cries of January. For those who would prefer simply to go about their life and work with a certain ease, grace and flow that was there before the pressures of the new calendar year. For anyone who is thoroughly dissatisfied with the world's thought of "just needing to get through Jan and Feb" (get into, not get through!), here are some ever-so-gentle, ever-so-ordinary ideas for a thoroughly-ordinary start to the year.

Craft a Beautifully Ordinary Day

Forget exceptional days. Those will happen anyway from time-to-time; because you are you and life is life. But happiness and success are journeys in the right now, built on consistency. And extraordinary days do not make for consistency.

Instead, let's craft a beautifully ordinary day. Not the best. Not the worst. A solidly average day, that makes time and space for the non-negotiables (You already know what those are.) And when multiplied by 240-odd working days for the year, takes you to where you want to be. If it doesn't (yet): upgrade it – but only slightly. Just enough for that day still to be ordinary at the local level – but to achieve the extraordinary when consistently performed throughout the year.

Drop Your Interests

There is a world of difference in the language: "I'm interested in …" versus "I'm committed to …". A world of difference in where the thinking is coming from; the behaviours that we engage in; and the outcomes that result. But almost no difference in the mental time, effort, focus and attention required in "being interested in" and "being committed to".

In all meaningful ways, "being interested in" is the same as being "wholly not committed" . So, rather than spend a year randomly stumbling across your interests list (made in early January, found in late April), continually beating oneself up about not getting to any of them and vowing "someday I'll …" (err yeah, no you won't): DROP THEM.

You don't have to discard your list. But do see it for what it is. A list of lovely ideas … to which we are not at all committed to. Yet. And so, that becomes our conscious choice. To drop faux goals and make time, space and energy for the things that we really are committed to. And to know that, if I want: I can take any of those interests (perhaps just one?) and promote it to a commitment.

Find Joy in the Little Things

It's not funny and actually a little upsetting that I have so many conversations with people whose good and grand intentions in January have led to huge ambitions that have now overwhelmed them. And whilst they're busy interrogating themselves as to why they (always) do this and why they're not getting to any of them, they discount all the little things that aren't big enough for the vision list.

Take a moment to notice how warped that logic is: if it's not big, it doesn't get on my list. But who cares about "magnitude of project". It's "joy delivered" we're interested in! Right? So why not make that the barometer of what's on and off the list?

What brings you joy? What makes you happy? What (and who) enriches your life? What energises and excites you? What leaves you feeling ?

Now: DO MORE OF THAT. Don't discard "time for the crossword" just because it's not of the supposed calibre of the ridiculously big and audacious goal (never mind that big goal is not what we want and whose pursuit or achievement won't raise our quality of life)!

Find joy in those little things that enrich your life. Do those every day. And the big goals will take care of themselves.

Creatively Subtract

I never get tired of sharing the biggest insight I've learnt in the years I've been coaching people: peak performance is taking away (not adding more). And so, if your year has begun with a lot of unhelpful additions, give yourself a break, drop all of that and instead ask: "What needs to go?"

We continually fill our days with a lot of low-return busy work. Why? So we can look back on the week and say: "I sure was busy". But I'm not actually achieving anything. I mean: I did a lot. But nothing that would really move me forward. And now, I'm not just fatigued from that busy-ness. I'm fatigued at just the thought of having to keep this going for another week, and another week after that.

Ask the question: What's wrong with my life, right now? And create a list. What am I tolerating? What am I living with? What am I just "trying to get through"? Step 2: create a mini project to eradicate that from your life – for good.

Have Your (Ordinary) Life Be Your Message

At this time of year, we're frequently challenged to set a personal philosophy for life. A manifesto. A mission. And for many: this is not a useful challenge. For many, it's just another thing that we're supposed to have done and haven't; and now, I'm upset with myself for not having done that.

So, instead: take your leave from Mahatama Gandhi. Let your life be your message. Your ordinary, free-flowing and joyfully-simple life. Put your focus there. It doesn't need anything extra.